The “no asshole” rule.
First off, pardon my french. This was the title of a book penned by a Stanford professor Robert I. Sutton (here).
Back in the day when I first started working with Brave Dog (hi guys! 👋), the partners let me in on their golden rule. They told me that there was a “no asshole rule” policy — meaning that if someone was being one, you call them out. Including them.
This sentiment stuck with me over the years. Almost like a secret playing card. Welp, spoiler alert. I finally had to use it on a new client I had engaged at the beginning of February.
To be fair, I didn’t listen to my gut during the exchange of calls and emails before making it official. I was blinded by the excitement to offer my expertise in business development/sales via a whole new industry (a total 180º from brands and entertainment — mergers & acquisitions). Not to mention the commission structure looked mighty fine.
But was it worth it?
⛳️ Red Flag #1: Our initial exchanges.
If you know me personally or follow my IG, you might know that one of my furry babies Nugget was diagnosed with diabetes in October. This requires a morning and night routine at the same time every day: 9:30AM and 9:30PM. Oh yeah, super fun for someone in their 30’s to have a cat curfew.
The M&A client was on the East Coast. When I shared with him my availability for new sales calls was (Pacific) 8AM-9:30AM and then 10AM-beyond, he flat out said this was a “flaw.” A thirty minute window and time zone difference was a “flaw” to him. He pursued ME! Not the other way around. I work with teams across the globe and this has never been an issue. Against my greater judgement, I explained my situation to him (looking back, yuck!), he agreed to make it work, and we proceeded. But if you’re wondering, it wasn’t the last time during those 2 weeks that I had to hear about it.
⛳️ Red Flag #2: He appointed me lead on a 12-month retainer that already expired.
This retainer client seemed like a complete doll. But the M&A team took on this below-normal-budget retainer and had seemingly failed at providing a buyer. My monthly cut would be equivalent to a Trader Joes trip, and I was expected to bring it home. Sure, I believe you have to do some grunt work in any new industry to learn the ropes and be comfortable during client interactions, but this seemed like a total dead end because I wasn’t sure that my client was actually the best fit for them.
It was even more apparent when I started speaking with the client over email. Her description of the business was not at all highlighted in the 10 page CIM (Confidential Information Memorandum a.k.a: a lengthy 10 page report). He wanted me to curate a new industry list of prospects. I was just getting my feet wet. How did he miss this after 12 months of conversations?
⛳️ Red Flag #3: He talked to a potential client like they were scum.
I offered to edit copy for the client’s weekly Sunday email blasts. The signature at the bottom was mine (he asked if I wanted it to be penned by me so I could receive the direct replies). However when my client sent it out, the sender email was incorrect. It looked unprofessional and confusing for anyone reading.
In the email was a link to a quiz created by MIT grads that would allow the business owner to learn more about the status of their company financials and what improvements it needed in order to be sold. The result was a 3 page report and it was free. I love a good lead magnet.
However, my client decided to respond to one of the prospects who completed the assessment before I had a chance to Monday morning east coast time — while I was sleeping. He said their business was “dreadful" among a few other nasty things. Mind you, my full name is still penned on this message. When I got to it in the morning, I was horrified! And so was the potential client. He wrote back a super nasty email to my client calling him a used car salesman. I got a big LOL from that.
What happened next?
I’m sure you can guess. At 7AM Pacific… I pulled out that “no asshole rule” card I had been hiding deep down. I fired him.
Morning [client] – I have been sitting on this a few days and haven't been able to find resolve. To cut it quick, I'm not confident [M&A company] is for me.
The icing on the cake was the email to the potential client. I was aghast reading it. Reminded me of how I felt reading your email about my schedule "flaw."
I am not sure our communication styles are in line and with that, I want to wish you and the team the best of luck in finding the right person to support you go forward.
This isn't the result I was hoping for. I am not a quitter. Frankly I was really excited to take my talents and expand them to a new place. But the communication I've witnessed and requests over the last two weeks don't seem like a fit for me.
Attached is a zip file of all the documents you've shared with me / I've created. If you want to update any passwords you've shared, feel free to do so.
-Ashley
So I didn’t call him an asshole directly, but I did drop him with grace — even if it was 2 weeks too late.
🔑 If you find yourself in a similar situation, I encourage you to ask yourself “is this person/team going to increase or diminish my reputation?” Because at the end of the day… money can’t rebuild that for you.
To eliminating the assholes!